a music box playing the same five notes in pattern...light, delicate, fragile. 

i'm a little girl spinning in my pink tutu on the beige carpet of my bedroom in illinois. ballet slippers snug on my small feet, purple legwarmers pulled over my heels and up to my knees. spinning, arms in the air. eyes gazing up at my white ceiling. turning, turning, turning... free...

the ache of the cello comes in slowly...deep, mournful, strong.

i close my eyes. inside my world, i feel things that have no words. a loneliness they'd say i'm too young to understand. a sadness that has no place in my happy room full of books and dress-ups and stickers and stuffed bears...a woefulness with no discernible cause; an inherent longing...

the tapping of a cowbell comes in quickly, lending order, rhythm, momentum....a synthesizer layers in with contrasting chaotic sounds. 

i'm spinning. spinning. looking out the window at the street and the houses on it. the humidity of the day heavy on me, covering me like a blanket. pushing through the thick air in my tornado spins, around and around...

fingers glide up and down guitar strings, the keyboard comes in, a ribbon of violet and fuchsia effortlessly flowing up and down, through and around the melody and rhythm...a beautiful mess of sound, texture, movement, momentum, flight.

i'm a woman now. the beat pumping through me, eyes closed and sitting on my vinyl chair, breathing in and out as the rhythm moves me. the little girl is here with me. i take her small hand in mine, and we spin together. i tell her i understand. that i sometimes feel the same way she does. but that i don't get scared anymore...i know i'm not alone, even when i am. she squeezes my hand...we both look up and close our eyes, breathing in the music, breathing in the sadness, and slowly, softly, smiling...spinning...

**as inspired by the hatchback dub version of 'questions' by dark captain light captain**