it has been almost eleven years now since i arrived in california, a wide-eyed midwestern girl feeling equally eager to explore her new western home and nervous about how she'd manage on her own, two-thirds of the way across the country from almost everyone who cared for her. i came knowing only one, but i've gotten to know many. without a doubt, california has brought me lifelong friends who have forever changed my course and opened my eyes to things i never imagined; i feel immeasurably expanded, deeply rooted and strong. but one crucial feeling has evaded me; despite my tireless efforts, i do not feel at home. i'm not sure i've ever really felt at home; to be fair and clear, but it's a feeling i so desperately want to feel that i just keep searching. (TBC)...