what would be really funny right now is if i were to go into a manicurist's shop and ask to get my nails done. i've scrubbed my hands. really hard. with soap, and water and even various exfoliants. but these hulk hands of mine seem to be forever green and dry and scraped up from the hours upon hours i've been spending tucking tomato branches into one another, trellising them securely to hold up the ripening jewels that are cascading down their stems. my right index finger is the worst...it's starting to crack and every little crease is filled with dirt that just stays.

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it reminds me of the gillian welch song called 'red clay halo'..."and it's under my nails and it's under my collar, and it shows on my Sunday clothes. I do my best with the soap and the water, but the damned old dirt won't go..."

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i'm glad i'm not looking for any dates out here in hoopa because my shower today was in the trinity river and i've started to regard deodorant as optional. but i guess humboldt will do that to you! 

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i've been sitting a lot lately with the question: what next? i can already tell that this experience will have been a life-changing one. to be working outside and with such constant variation is so rich and fascinating. each night, we go to bed looking at one farm, and the next morning, we wake up to a new one. the squash have expanded; the flowers that were closed at night are now fully open, their vibrant colors accenting the herb garden; the peas have gotten a little plumper and juicier; the carrot stalks have stretched taller; and the long beans have spiral climbed up a few more fractions of an inch. no matter how sour i am about not getting enough sleep or my coffee turning out too weak because i can't master the french press, i am constantly distracted into happiness by the plants and their dynamism.

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and so, what next? i want this lifestyle to get woven into the fabric of my being, not just a colorful piece of string that i hang on my wall as decoration. i don't want to forget how it feels to be connected with the land and the flora and the dawn and the moonlight and the rumbling current of great rivers. i can't fathom not having these connections, honestly. 

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i had no idea even one month ago that i was being called to such a threshold of such beauty and meaning …